Transitioning

Sunrise sailing through the Gulf islands; an ethereal picture of calm and transience. Again I find my feet stepping in new directions, to a new place. I am dubious as to what awaits me here…I have no idea how long I will stay, I feel right now  I must be in this place of serenity and quietness to open my life to the book that is waiting for my pen. My intension: to find a sense of balance and resolution in my body, to explore and discover what this next year holds for me and where. With increasing hurdles blocking my Canadian Visa, I awoke knowing it was imperative to find some answers in my body, switching off the mind and its logic, planning and foreseeing and instead sensing. Locking myself away from the external world for three days, I set an intention for movement explorations; resolution and exploring the dance of fear and uncertainty. What materialized over the course of the next three days was my rock, my savor in opening myself up to what I was feeling in all my years of moving across the world. Day one: explore balance and imbalance in movement. What does it feel like to fall, to be unstable, out of balance, out of synch? Is there a disparity between the head and the heart (thus body)?. What happens on a emotional level? After much experimentation with toppling, decentering and returning home, a narrative appeared in my body and through my pen. Walking forward, my head extended - leading with the head, I feel rushed…eyes leading I tune out my senses, not feeling myself. Where are you body? I am leaving you behind…where did you go body - I need you?

DROP IT

Developing the movement…my head pulls back and I walk backwards slowly. I feel fear, nervousness, trepidation. Shifting, pausing, stopping. Re-aligning head with heart so I can feel it nestled firmly on my shoulders. I feel my entire body ... What does it feel like to dance the dance of balance and unity? Swirling and running, jutting from back to front, left to right, my body wants to find playfulness in coming off centre - finding balance and then tumbling. If only I can let myself simply fall, to drop to the ground and surrender to the dance of uncertainty. Where would it take me? Today I found so much freedom in my own imperfections, a space of acceptance in my feelings of displacement and a sense of wonder of where my higher self is taking me on this journey. Do I have to confine myself to place? Can I simply be at home in my body? As day one comes to a close I am reminded of the beautiful words of Carlos Castaneda; "Any path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you."