Extending into Space

My soul feels so nourished being back in Scotland - my eyes have the space to stretch out, my body feels lighter with the comfort and knowledge that I can extend without fear of being crushed, consumed by others in close proximity. The mystheticism of Scotland often captures me unaware as I find myself dancing  in distant memories from childhood, from a sense of freedom at being able to run around in nature unconfined. My lungs feel more open, my breath sinks deeper into the abdomen, away from the heavy pollution of Hong Kong. Returning to England was a decision my body made for me months ago in Canada, a decision that my ego fought against furiously, not quite knowing why, understanding why, but with the trust that I had to follow this leap of faith. I feel more rested and peaceful being on home soil, as if my legs needed this connection with my biological home, and yet why is this need so poignant? To be close to family and friends, to confront old shadows that were abandoned in hope of disintegrating with distance? A sense of not knowing fragments from my own personal history - my family roots? Or does it extend deeper than that - is it some kind of primeval need in the body, to return to the centre, the seed of existence - the mothers womb?  My own movement studies into the body provide signpost in this direction, working in close conjunction with the imaginable realm, abstract images of fetus’s, often painted with tenderness dance their way onto my page and a sense of retroversion encapsulates me. The theme of darkness and light - a fitting one with the arrival of the spring equinox, find their way into my own mythology, to the need of wading into the murky waters, the shadows and surrendering to those dark forces that are needed to help us grow and move into light. My time in Asia, albeit full of light and joy was a symbolic stepping into these dark forces that has shaped my past, my belief systems in so many different ways in my life. The trust in my body to guide me was my savor in  enabling me to surrender to that which was, to let go of people and places and allow myself to feel the light that exists deep underneath these shadows. Perhaps the need to return to my biological home has been a metaphorical conclusion of this journey through darkness and light - a stepping stone into this new space of clarity and indeed a wider, fresher, brighter space within myself and the knowledge that anything is possible!…